A book people have made fun of for years but is actually very helpful: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
Iown Mylife
JoinedPosts by Iown Mylife
-
67
marriage without affection/sex/touching
by zeb inyes thats my situation.
some where along the path of life the wt guilt trip was dumped on our marriage and we havent had sex for years.. anyone else?
the hearts and flowers and gifts and doing the cleaning, the house work and paying the daily accounts never being drunk on drugs playing the horses or screwing others yep its all there but nothing coming back due to the wt guilt trip.. they made so much of 'oral sex' and 'pornea' incorrectly quoted at that and ventured thereby into areas they were patently very ill equipped to comment on.
-
-
-
39
After 44 years I finally found and spoke to my old prison buddy!
by Terry ini have had very few mentors in my life.
i love each of them dearly.. one such was a man a bit older than me named tollie padget.. .
tollie was the rarest of rare birds.
-
-
Iown Mylife
Thank you for posting, Terry. To me, it's better knowing how things turned out for people, if it's possible to know. So sad you had to spend time in jail.
Re the counsel about commenting too much: The couple who studied with my husband and me were born ins and the wife's father was an elder, very active, moved to where the need was greater and raised his kids here in the South. She was zealous and always had her hand up. She told me it's the conductor's job to decide who will answer and everyone is supposed to be ready to answer. She said she puts her hand up on every question and then the conductor can call on her if he needs to.
I thought she was doing the right thing, like everyone was supposed to do if they could do it. But LOTS of people criticized her for that, and said she was a show off, instead of trying to do more themselves they wanted her to do less.
marina
-
23
Elders and spying eyes
by Crazyguy inis it normal for the elders in your congregation to spy on you through your wife?
texting her to see whats up with you and what your doing or saying etc.
using her as the in house spy???
-
-
Iown Mylife
Well they think they are in charge of everybody so why would they need to bother going through the husband. That head of the house stuff is for shutting the wife down when she's trying to tell the elders that her husband is getting drunk and beating her, or worse. It is a criminal cult.
marina
-
23
Elders and spying eyes
by Crazyguy inis it normal for the elders in your congregation to spy on you through your wife?
texting her to see whats up with you and what your doing or saying etc.
using her as the in house spy???
-
-
Iown Mylife
My opinion - they can and do justify doing whatever they wanna do. Anything you can think of can be twisted around, rationalized and whitewashed as service to God, benefitting the sheep, blah blah blabbitty blab blab blab, UGH!
Marina
-
58
The truth about Hispanic JWs in the United States
by Hecce in[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>x-none</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math"/> <m:brkbin m:val="before"/> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--"/> <m:smallfrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin m:val="0"/> <m:rmargin m:val="0"/> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup"/> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440"/> <m:intlim m:val="subsup"/> <m:narylim m:val="undovr"/> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><![endif].
[endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* style definitions */ table.msonormaltable {mso-style-name:"table normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"times new roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif].
i will like to share some facts about the spanish congregations in usa.
-
-
Iown Mylife
Hello, Hecce,
You are right, and i wouldn't feel so bitter about it if they all didn't make such a big show of being better than everybody else, and that if you leave, because you can't swallow any more hypocrisy, you are so EVIL.
The entire organization is a criminal cult.
De nada! Thank you for posting.
Marina
-
58
The truth about Hispanic JWs in the United States
by Hecce in[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>x-none</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math"/> <m:brkbin m:val="before"/> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--"/> <m:smallfrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin m:val="0"/> <m:rmargin m:val="0"/> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup"/> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440"/> <m:intlim m:val="subsup"/> <m:narylim m:val="undovr"/> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><![endif].
[endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* style definitions */ table.msonormaltable {mso-style-name:"table normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"times new roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif].
i will like to share some facts about the spanish congregations in usa.
-
-
Iown Mylife
There was a sister in my (English-speaking) congregation who was raised in the Bronx and her parents were from Puerto Rico. She did not want a Hispanic husband, she said they are too controlling compared to the English-speaking guys. Okay, so she was in my congregation and we originally got to be friends because my mother is Cuban. She also had a lot of friends in the Spanish kh and I went with her to her jw Spanish friends' houses and get-togethers. One couple, the wife was very welcoming to me, and said she was going to teach me to dance like Spanish women, etc. Her husband was (probably still is, i don't know) the congregation overseer in the Spanish kh. He had a VERY dry sense of humor, and liked to tease but I never could tell when he was joking. I don't speak Spanish, just a word here and there, and he would greet me at the hall and speak English, and then several times immediately turn to a brother nearby and say something about me in Spanish, and then the two of them would look at me and laugh. This happened SEVERAL times.
Okay so that is all just background as to why I say, from experience, that those Spanish jw friends that I was around a lot, for several years, -- THEY feel totally superior to English-speaking non-Hispanics. The overseer taught them to APPEAR humble and sociable and loving to the non-Hispanic friends, but never to let their children get involved romantically and hold themselves separate from them.
One time early on at our quick-build, which I had not been around before, I brought the main dish for the lunch-time and helped set up the food. Then I called that lunch was ready. There were only Spanish friends working that day and it was a small group. So this brother comes up to me and rudely yells at me that only HE is allowed to announce when the friends could come and eat. Because I was only good enough to provide the food, being female. Being female I was nowhere NEAR good enough to actually tell male people that lunch was ready.
I was at one get-together where the majority of attendees were dancing, and some non-Hispanic friends were there with me, teen girls and my daughter and my Spanish friend who had gotten me all involved with the Spanish congregation. One sister was dancing and noticed her teen son dancing with my daughter's friend. She YELLED at him to get away from "that dirty white girl!"
That was the attitude that I began to discern quite clearly. The Spanish jw's are every bit as hypocritical as any nationality you want to name. They SAY that they believe that Jehovah loves all people without partiality. But the Spanish jw's I was around DON'T believe it.
Also I knew an elder who was in drywall, he would go and pick up a crew from Mexicans standing around waiting for work. Several times he worked them all day, dropped them off with a promise of more work and pay at the end of the job. He would pick up a crew from a different spot the next day and didn't pay the guys he owed.
Marina
-
21
What do you do?
by Jen1 inyou want to be left alone?
you are fading.
but the elders want to visit you.
-
-
Iown Mylife
Hey there, Jen1,
I know that depression you speak of. For me it came about from feeling guilty and annoyed at myself for wanting to use my time in my own life. Finally I realized it is not wrong to want to use the time available in my life, for myself.
People who make you feel guilty and then use the hell out of you, do not deserve a second thought. An organization which uses mind control through pressure and rules and repetition and hides behind the Bible to use people to make money!
Don't feel guilty anymore, don't let them keep using your life. Once you take back your life you can begin to de-program and this forum is extremely helpful in that!
Marina
-
21
welcome new poster Jen1 on my thread 'making connections'
by losingit inplease welcome jen1 to the jwnforum.
she posted for the first time on my thread 'making connections.
' let's all please encourage her!!!!.
-
-
Iown Mylife
Hello and welcome, Jen1! It's so true, reading and venting on this forum is some of the best de-programming help you can get! That's been my experience, anyway.
Hope to see you on here all the time. My husband and I have recently sent our disassociation letter but we've been out at least a couple years, can't remember just exactly when my last meeting was. We started studying in 1985 and got baptized in '86. We wasted many years of our lives worrying about being good enough for the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society.
Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz helped me realize what the JW's are all about. Mostly mind control! It's hard to think for yourself after you leave the WT.
We are enjoying Christmas this year for the first time since 1984. My granddaughter is 14 and this will be her first Christmas. We've got a lot of living to catch up on, that's for sure.
I hope so much that your husband gets to feeling better, and best wishes to you both.
--Marina
-
100
10 Years out of the JW Organization- What I've Learned ( For what it's Worth)
by flipper in10 years ago i stopped attending jehovah's witness meetings for good.
walked out of the kingdom hall cold turkey never to return based on injustices i observed among others and myself at the hands of elders giving out not god's counsel but personal opinions as counsel .
some of them weren't even giving out wt society counsel- just personal opinions.
-
-
Iown Mylife
EXCELLENT summary, and thank you for posting, I appreciate it so much.
-
20
What Have You Bought From TV Infomercials?
by minimus inhave you ever bought anything?.
my favorite commercial is the guy that screams because he's trying to clean his ears!
ahhhhhhggghhhh!!!
-
-
Iown Mylife
OMG i bought the Eggies because i thought they would make it so easy to have boiled eggs without peeling. Wrong! They are a lot more work than just boiling an egg and peeling! I brought 'em home, read the instructions, and took them back for a refund.